Franklin Levinson's
Horse Help Center
Professional support for you and your horse!
Love Only Me
I got new Arabian baby, 3 years old. I am new at this. My husband has been involved with horses all his life. But I want this horse to love only me. What should the first steps be with this mare to bond with me and gain my trust. Please tell me how to do this I want to do it all right from the start.
Thank you, Crystyl
Hi Crystyl,
Your horse will bond deeply with whoever spends the most time with it in the role of the great parent/leader. It is a myth that the horse always bonds with the ‘feeder’, unless that person gives the horse more than food. Things like comfortable grooming, appropriate interaction (simple things like leading, lunging and games on the ground) and praise (expressed without over doing the touching) will begin to get the horse looking to you as its friend and leader. Your great leadership and guidance are the real keys to a strong bond and the horse accepting you.
As far as what ‘moves’ to use, start simply with the mare by requesting basic things you know the horse can do. Leading, stopping, backing, side passing, lunging and other basic ground games and exercises will go a long way in accomplishing what you want. These should be conscious, precise requests. When the horse complies, a simple “good girl” will do as a reward. This sets the horse up as a winner in a winning cycle of you request something, the horse does it and then gets a “good girl”. Ask your husband to demonstrate some basic ground work for you to view. It is so much easier to watch someone do these things than it is to try and describe them in an email. There are descriptions of some ground games in the archived and recent correspondence sections of my ‘help center’.
Let me know how it all goes. Are you a little jealous of your husband’s equine relationships? You can do the same with your horse. It takes time and patience. Good Luck!
Sincerely, Franklin