Franklin Levinson's
Horse Help Center
Professional support for you and your horse!
Too late in life to love a horse some day?
Hello Franklin,
My name is Louise. I am 55 years old and I live in Yorba Linda CA. I am a total animal lover but have only owned cats and dogs. Since I was a kid I have loved horses. Guess I was the usual teenager begging and pleading for a horse. Never did get one!
I have had no experince with horses until recently. (Unless you want to include 2 times....30 mins a piece............ between the ages of 16 and 45......on a little horsie trail ride).
Anyways, I am writing this letter to ask you.......Frankin.......DO YOU THINK A FAIRLY YOUTHFUL 55 YEAR OLD WOMAN.......IS TOO OLD TO LEARN ABOUT HORSES AND PERHAPS ONE DAY HAVE HER DREAM COME TRUE OF OWNING A HORSE...........EVEN THOUGH SHE IS PETRIFIED OF THEM?
Here's the scoop:
About 6 weeks ago I started taking lessons at a ranch down the street from where I live. I am taking private lessons. I get a chance to groom and ride the same horse every week. It is an hour long. The problem is Franklin.................I love horses................I find I get goosebumps from head to toe when I even see one..........let alone ride one every week for an hour. BUT..........here's the big BUT..........I am very nervous around them and fearful. I am trying desperately to overcome this fear...........so I can learn to ride a horse and maybe eventually even own/lease one.
So Franklin, my question to you would be.........Is it possible for a person to overcome this fear? A fear that comes with the weight of 1500 lbs or so? I find my nervousness and fear can climb higher.........when I am told that a horse can sense my fear besides! Then I really think "Oh darn.......this is never going to happen for me." "I will never learn to "really" ride.......and I'll never be able to loose the fear I'll be kicked or hurt some day if I do to learn to ride."
I realize you have much more important emails to answer.......but I was looking up "Horse sites" (I've become obsessed) and your site turned up. I thought I'd ask you........a Mr. Horse Whisperer himself!
So Franklin..........I'm asking you.........IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A 55 YEAR OLD WOMAN........NO PREVIOUS HORSE EXPERIENCE......TO MAYBE SOME DAY LOVE AND OWN A HORSE.................AND BE ABLE TO FEED HIM CARROTS AND CLEAN HIS HOOFS.......WITHOUT THE FEAR OF LOOSING ALL HER FINGERS AND TEETH AT THE SAME TIME???? (LOL)
Thank you very much if you do decide to answer this 55 year old woman who is hoping it's NOT TOO LATE!
Sincerely, Louise
Hello Louise,
So sorry it has taken a while to respond. It is a very busy time for me and my time on the computer has to be limited in deference to real time with horses. I can easily answer your question.....
It is never too late!!!!!
A beloved friend of mine always say "it is never too late to have a happy childhood." Likewise it is never to late to get to know horses and have a wonderful experience with them. Riding the horse does not even have to be involved. In fact, I would not even ride much at the beginning except to take lessons. Riding the horse is all about the human. Riding instructors will teach you riding skills (equestrian skills) but nothing about the horse itself. This is tragic. There is a world of the horse that has absolutely nothing to do with the human riding it. This world of the horse is really what you should consider exploring. The world of the horse is magical, just as the horse itself is a magical, mystical individual with gifts to offer humans that go unheeded and unappreciated because the only way most humans relate to a horse is them riding the animal, and not very well at that. They are trying to survive on the horse's back which takes up all of their attention and focus. The horse itself is lost in this misguided and limited approach.
Fear is dispelled by knowledge and then experience! I am not speaking about learning to ride here. Any riding instructor can teach you equestrian skills. You have to seek out knowledge about the horse itself as riding instructors mostly don't know that much about the mind and psychology of horses. They are riders and teach riding, not HORSE. You can gain the knowledge I am speaking of by attending training clinics as an auditor. You should purchase training dvd's and watch them over and over. There are a few books that are very good such as Horse Sense For the Human Heart and The Tao of Equus that will attempt to impart information and knowledge about horses, beyond the human activity of riding them. It is more than grooming and feeding. Much more. You should develop ground handling skills that set you up as the great leader-dance partner-guide-and protector for the horse. The most important thing to a horse is it's feelings and sense of safety. Being a prey animal, it is prone to fear and then flight. It gets it feelings of safety from the herd leader who indicates to the herd members when it is safe to eat, drink, sleep and relax, etc. The herd leader directs the movement of the herd. She directs the actions of the herd. She is respected and revered by the herd as their survival depends on her. I want you to become the great heed leader for every horse you encounter. This is accomplished by your compassion, kindness, skill and attitude towards each and every horse you come across. If you do this, you will be come a magnet for any horse. They will gravitate towards those individuals who understand them to the point that just being with that individual helps the horse to feel safe. Feelings of safety are more important than food, water, sleep or anything else to a horse. Become like a sanctuary of peace for any horse that is with you by being calm, quiet, patient, compassionate, kind and skillful in your communication with the horse. Become the great herd leader, the great leading dance partner, like Gandhi for all horses you encounter. Beyond riding is where you will gain the great rewards of association with horses. The riding will become the icing on the cake of your relationship with horses. it should be the last skill you acquire with a horse and not the first. Ths first skill is gained through acquiring knowledge and then becoming the wonderful leader/parent for all horses you encounter. Bring them feelings of, and a sense of, safety first and formost through your abilities, knowledge, acquired skill and wonderful, compassionate attitude.
I would love to hear your feedback from this email. Good Luck and remember the horse is always innocent no matter what. Any behavior you see that is undesirable and even agressively dangerous is the horse showing it is afraid. Abuse and force is never an option. Knowledge, skill, compassion and kindness are what is called for. Along with patience, consistency, precision and always giving and doing your best for that wonderful and innocent equine.
Sincerely, Franklin